“I paint. I am an artist”….. That still feels very odd for me to say but it’s true. I first started painting, after a very encouraging conversation, back in October 2013. I did not feel I had any artistic talent but I am so glad I decided to give it a try despite my misgivings. I’ve done some crazy cool paintings (if I can be so bold to say) which I had no idea were possible! I am very appreciative of the folks who encouraged me and believed I had something to give.
I’ve tried to paint whenever I have strong emotions that seem “stuck”. When I paint, there is so much going on inside of my head. I feel if I don’t express it somehow, I will implode. Before I start a project, I choose which colors “feel” right. Sometimes what I have in mind and what I end up with are polar opposites but in the end, I feel better whatever the result.
Lately, I’ve been feeling angry. I will be minding my own business and a painful situation from long ago springs into mind. The feelings are so vivid and the anger is…there. The anger is the most difficult one to explain with words because there is sadness mixed in as well. These are the times when painting saves me. If I did not have a creative outlet, my feelings would crush me from the inside and tear me to bits.
To anyone who says, “I wish I had artistic talent”, I say pick up a brush and just go for it! I didn’t think I had artistic talent inside of me, I thought all of the artistic talent when to other members of the family, not me. I’ve genuinely surprised myself with some of my paintings and I’m so glad I didn’t listen to the negative voices in my head. Be brave and jump off the high dive. You never know what you’re capable of until you try.
(My first painting)