Recent events (see last post) have made me to be rather introspective. Listening to the news and hearing of yet another domestic violence case starring the NFL has also given me reason for introspection. Lots of it.
Domestic violence, intimate partner rape, sexual harassment and abuse in all varieties all boil down to one common idea. Each case is one person imposing/enforcing their will over their partner’s, whomever their partner may be. The issues of abuse do not discriminate by gender, ethnicity or sexual preference.
A gentleman I follow on twitter said: “What’s going on with these NFL players putting their hands on women and children?! Its mindblowing to me #smh”. Yes, my sentiments exactly, sir.
This tweet was in response to the latest story of domestic violence involving an Arizona Cardinal’s player. This NFL player took it upon himself to head butt his wife when she denied his sexual advances and then, still angry in the morning, punched her in the face. In his anger, he threw an object towards his infant son (and missed) and then threatened to kill his wife in front of their child. (summarizing events from the news article I read)
I doubt this NFL player’s wife is the only woman who has faced this sort of violence from a spouse for this reason. She has a right, within her marriage (and outside of it) to determine what happens to her body. Just because she wears a ring on her finger, she is not obligated to “service” her husband. She is not owned by him and he has no right to force himself upon her or beat her if she tells him no. Likewise, she has no right to treat him as he treated her.
Abuse against partners and domestic violence has been happening for ages. As a mother of two sons, I do my best to teach my boys how to treat women. On the other side of the coin, I can also teach them all people deserve respect, including themselves. Respect goes both ways in a relationship. Without respect, I feel, domestic violence in it’s various forms will not be eradicated any time soon.
I’m a stickler for the golden rule: “Do unto others as you’d have done unto you”. I like the golden rule because it asks us to stop and consider the other person’s point of view. It makes us think how our actions could/would effect them. The golden rule forces us to find our compassion and realize the world is not all about us. Finding compassion for another is a start towards positive change within ourselves.