My mom would have been 71 today. She passed away June 5th, 2016. I have been thinking of this day, her birthday, all week. I didn’t know what to do once today arrived. Should I try to commemorate the day somehow or just let it slip quietly past? I haven’t had time to properly think, feel or even cry this week. I have been adequately (and frustratingly) distracted by work, YouTube, Netflix and food….always food.
When I think of her, I can still see her smile and hear her laugh. She was always ready to laugh. On vacations, when squabbles broke out (usually between my sister and I), mom was the one who tried to get everyone smiling again.
When we’d visit mom’s side of the family, the uncles would come to my grandparents house and there was lots of uproarious laughter. It’s a Houtz thing, after-all. The Houtz’s are know for their laughter and good times, even in inappropriate situations. There are many stories of my mom’s side of the family laughing during funerals or church services. I honestly thought there might be some merriment at her funeral! It’s almost a tradition! I’m glad to report all went smoothly with her funeral. Good times and laughs were had with the family afterward.
I thought of making a cake or having some chocolate ice cream to mark the day. I didn’t call my dad or mention what today marks in our morning email. I didn’t know what to do or how to feel so I chose to write. My sister wrote a piece today. I haven’t read it yet but I’m sure it’s eloquent and full of nice memories. I don’t want to let myself swim amongst the memories today. I don’t want to be sad, but I am nonetheless. I really don’t want anyone to see my cry. I so hate when people see my cry.
Happy birthday, Mom. Love you.