It’s funny/sad/odd/frustrating how memories of someone who has passed can leap out of nowhere. It seems like those times, for me, are met with joy and then sadness at the re-acknowledging of the loss. It can be the simplest or most mundane tasks which bring up memories.
I was out by myself this morning, shopping for clothing. I have a new job and I needed shirts to wear. I also have lost weight and thought it was time I buy a bra that actually fits instead of relying on sports bras with mediocre support. After all, new job, new me? Sure. Why not!
I had measured myself earlier this week and determined my new bra size. I found a style which I thought would work and tried it on. I was popping out of the sides and smooshing out of the cups, despite having the “correct” size. I thought, “My boobs look like soft, uncooked yeast dough which is stuffed into flimsy baking cups!”. The sight of myself made me laugh! Seriously, this bra was not going to work at all. I texted a friend my shopping woes and headed back to the racks. I made it out of there with two bras which fit without squishing my fat too terribly. I felt quite triumphant as I left the mall.
As I headed home, my mind flashed to one of the times my mom and I went clothing shopping. Mom said she never knew how to dress and when I was in town, we’d go to Ross or Target. I was there as another opinion and my mom liked what I would pick out for her. I remember one trip in particular, several years back. I was given $400.00 to spend on clothes for my birthday. It was a gift from my husband because he never knew what to buy me and I always asked for clothes! So, my mom and I went off. Since I found a few good deals, I decided to pay for some bras for her. She had lost weight and had recently had a lumpectomy to remove small tumors from her breast. For whatever reason, mom seemed to think well fitting bras were not supercritical. I know a well fitting bra makes me stand a little taller and I thought she needed this for herself. I remember we had fun shopping. There was a decent amount of mirth about the way things fit or how they didn’t fit. Also about how ridiculous bras are and how annoying being lopsided can be. The lumpectomy left her with a few scars and an asymmetrical chest. After a few tries, we found two bras that worked. I found several things to wear to work and it was deemed a successful shopping trip.
I’d forgotten about this shopping trip until today. I was glad no one could see my crying behind my sunglasses as I drove home. It’s funny how the little things will pop out and get ya when you least expect it. Good memories.