So, I got dumped yesterday. I knew it was coming, it was just a matter of when. How did I know? Because it was never supposed to be a “relationship”. It was supposed to be just a booty call. That is how Tinder usually works after all, isn’t it? However, I don’t quite know how to separate my emotional side from the physical act so, I became the booty call that wouldn’t go away. I got attached, I cared deeply, I even nearly said the “L” word on many occasions (and meant it). I cared. He cared. However, timing, life and out-of-my-control circumstance were not in my favor. And so, with sadness, I was finally told that he wanted us to be “just friends”.
These things happen and it’s OK. I did learn some valuable lessons and they are as follows:
1. Everyone needs empathy and understanding because you never know what burdens another is carrying.
2. Believe what you are told up front (about the willingness to commit), it was the truth.
3. I cannot love someone into being with me, they have to make that leap for themselves.
4. Despite my sadness, I would not trade the memories and experiences for anything.
5. Always say what you feel in your heart (or write it in a letter), even if it’s difficult and even if you think it won’t be well received.
6. Be kind.
I told my oldest (adult) son that I’d been dumped. His response was, “Do we need to break some kneecaps?”! While I don’t condone violence, this made me feel quite loved and cared for in an odd sort of way! I don’t wish ill or misfortune upon the man who dumped me either. I actually sent him a letter, which should arrive in a few days, stating the opposite. I have no idea if it will be well received but I couldn’t let what was in my heart go unsaid. I’m funny like that.